Lonely?

If you are feeling sad and lonely tell your parents/carers or someone at the university such as the Residential Adviser, your support worker if you have one, the Disability Officer or your Study Adviser. 

Any of these people will be able to advise you or know someone who can.  University based staff might be able to organise social support during evenings and sometimes over the weekend. 

It might be that you need some explicit instruction on how to recognise and respond to friendly people.  Some people with AS simply do not notice the friendly approaches made by other people and miss out that way. 

Important questions to ask yourself are:

  • Do I know how other people meet and start talking?
  • Do I see them actually meeting and starting to talk?
  • Do I avoid the social places that most people go to?
  • Do I ever ask people to meet for a ‘coffee’?

If the answer to these questions is ‘no’ and you feel lonely, then you need to ask for help.

Other questions are:

  • Do I find people I know getting in my way in the corridor?
  • Do people suggest we go for a coffee/drink even when I am not thirsty?
  • Do people at the same society as me stand or sit near me at the start and end of a meeting?
  • Do I sit away from other people at club or society meetings?
  • Do I avoid people and sit on my own in communal areas?

If the answer to these questions is ‘yes’ and you feel lonely, then you need to ask for help.

This list is not exhaustive but does give some examples of questions you can ask yourself to try and work out why you are not making friends.

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